It is human nature to want to belong, but when does our desire to fit in come at an expense that might be too high for us to pay?
Often fitting in is a lot more about membership – checking off certain criteria that creates exclusivity over genuine belonging.
However we want to take time to understand the difference between the two, because genuinely belonging is what we desire, and membership doesn’t give us that. Yet we often think that membership = belonging and therefore we’re willing to give up parts of ourselves in order to fit in.
Lately we’ve been talking a lot about goals, values, creating lives for ourselves that are actually what we desire and we can’t do those things unless we address what can sometimes get in the way.
Membership is the notion that in order to fit into a certain group dynamic, place or organization, you need to follow certain rules. If you have a family dynamic that loves drama, you’re expected to partake in the cycle of drama, otherwise ‘you don’t fit in’. Maybe you need to be an academic, or have a certain kind of career, or be married with kids, to fit into another group. You might need to have certain political views, or socially conscious views in order to ‘belong’. The idea is that all of these require you to fit into some kind of box, in order to maintain your ‘membership’.
What happens though if you don’t fit? That can often lead us to feeling as though we don’t belong, but that isn’t the case at all.
We all belong, and we need to restructure how we view belonging vs membership in order to make choices and decisions for ourselves that are in alignment with what we desire. Not what others require from us.
We dive more into this topic in this week’s podcast episode if this topic resonates. You can listen here.
Remember that you no matter what, you do belong and if you’re looking for a community to feel safe in, check out The Lighthouse Collective. We’re currently open for enrollment and while it is a membership community, everyone is welcome and belongs.
Keep being awesome my friend and I’ll chat with you next week!
Chat soon,
Lana
If you enjoy these conversations, check out The Lighthouse Collective. It’s a community for socially and spiritually conscious entrepreneurs building a better world together. We talk about topics like this in even more interactive and supportive ways.
If you are interested in working 1-on-1 with me to help grow your business, I would love to connect with you on a free strategy call here. Learn more about my coaching services here.
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